It's about 6:30pm and I'm the only person left on my floor in my building at work. I've been thinking about work a lot lately. This is especially true after the latest reorg in the finance department. I posted before that I am now reporting to someone that used to be my intern a few years ago and he was recently promoted to director, one step up from where I am now. I was quite upset at that at the time... even thought about tossing out my 5 year plaque and lucite cube. I've been at the same level for 4+ years and it seems that I've hit some sort of ceiling. I even sent out a few resumes last month but nothing serious.
Well, a few weeks have past and I'm still here doing the same stuff. If I step back a bit, I guess a great deal of how we feel has to do with expectations. If you asked me 15 years ago about my expectations for today, I'd probably say married with two kids, 4 bedroom house with two cars, and a somewhat senior level corporate finance position. Up until 5 years ago, everything was going according to expectations. Today... not so much. Is that bad?
One way to look at it is that my life is >50% over and I haven't accomplished anything. I'm still single, living at home with my parents, and working at a (potentially) dead-end job. However, I am paid well for what I'm doing (whether I'm underworked and thus underpaid is another issue) and we just bought the "new" house together. Perspective. I guess my problem now is that I really have no goals. It seems all I do is travel between work and home, and watch some Korean TV in between. Actually, life is pretty comfortable and I'm probably just lazy. I think I am still burned out mentally (sort of) from my past marriage and the more recent long-distance almost-fiancee ex-girlfriend (not at the same time, of course).
Maybe I'll start off with small goals. I met a coworker at lunch in the cafe and he asked how I was doing. I jokingly said that I'm just focused on getting lunch at the moment but it was mostly true. I think I will direct my energy towards getting some dinner now and maybe clear out a few more boxes from the garage when I get home.
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Wow, that was kind of boring... sorry, Haley.
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1 comment:
Wow, how did you know I was reading. Tonight is first time I've read your blog in weeks.
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