Thursday, April 9, 2009

Things Never To Trust in China

Written by a laowai. But since I'm a Twinkie in China (yellow on the outside, laowai on the inside), I found most of this pretty funny.

My favorites:

12. Any declaration or announcement from any Chinese authority that begins with the words “For your safety”.

14. Shops that only consist of a man in a bomber jacket smoking a cigarette next to a fridge. [the fridge is NEVER plugged in so all the drinks are lukewarm]

20. Websites that are not banned in China.

22. Un-labeled meat. [especially on the back of a bicycle]

23. ISO9001.

31. The information plaques in museums. [Serf Emancipation Day]

32. School textbooks. [my friend's English textbook had the n-word in its vocabulary list; useful if you ever visit Compton]

33. “And now on CCTV, news from our Tibet Correspondent.” [Serf Emancipation Day]

35. “Mei wenti”. [Leon's favorite words]

40. Claims of sovereignty. [Taiwan!]

45. Anyone who refers to you as “friend”, and especially anyone who refers to you as “old friend”.

47. The quality of a DVD purchase. [only ¥5 from street vendors]

48. Traffic signs, traffic lights, or traffic regulations of any kind.


Anonymous said...


did you take that picture of the meat on the back of the bicycle in front of the sign of the Hi-tech Park?

totochi said...

Yeah, I think it was on my 2nd trip in Aug-07. I took it with my RAZR cell phone. Ironic, eh?